Hello, my name is Marie and I’m a chronic procrastinator. I’ve always struggled with this. Sometimes I can go for lengthy periods of time being extremely productive but then I lapse into this pit of procrastination. Its actually kind of annoying. I find myself wanting to do things but sometimes it takes herculean strength to motivate myself to get it done. For example, right now I should be working on this document for my student loans (help us Lord) but instead I’m writing this…not that I’m complaining, I’ve been meaning to do a journal post. Just didn’t think it would be on this. Haha.
Sometimes I wonder if its all in my head. If I just push aside this feeling of lethargy then I can get all these things done. They aren’t even hard or complicated things! I just simply don’t want to do it and the fact that I don’t want to do it concerns me. If life is truly what I make it, what will my life be if left to my own devices? My mom often tells me that she has to push me, if she doesn’t she doesn’t know what will become of me. A very depressing thought but often when I’m doing introspection I’ll think about it. Why isn’t knowing I have things to do enough motivation to get certain things done?
When joking with friends I’ll often say I’m broken but in this area, I’m beginning to wonder if that’s true. When it comes to doing what I need to do or working on what I need to finish…I think I just might be. Trying to figure out if that’s a flaw or possibly a virtue that God could use for His glory…you know, if I actually get up and do it.