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 *Que the Swoon* 8/22/2016

She’d sworn off love. Her heart had finally stopped skipping beats at the mention of his name. She’d finally stopped waiting for the phone to ring. Thanking her lucky stars, swearing she almost didn’t survive the last heartbreak. She done with love. Done with fairy tales. Done with all things romantic. After all she was a pragmatist. She adored all things realistic and practical. In everyday life men don’t just say lines like, “You’ve been witched me body and soul and I- I- I love you.”

As she entered her living she turned on the cheery electric fireplace and ignored the urge to turn on the blower. It was summer after all and regardless of her mood it made absolutely no sense to turn up the A/C just to justify using the blower. Turning off all the other lights except the light by her front door, she curled up on the couch. Sunday nights, are movie nights and she thought she was in the mood for a good ole fashioned action flick.

She got through about five minutes of “The Transporter” before she realized that she wasn’t in the mood to watch stuff blow up tonight. Glancing out the window she noticed the soft drizzle of rain. Of course it would rain now. Rolling her eyes she scrolled through the guide trying to find something good on TV. Ten frustrating minutes later she decided to just watch whatever was in her DVD player and had to stifle a moan when the styled “Austenland” title flashed across the screen. Resolved she rolled her shoulders and immersed herself in the Regency styled mannerisms with modern day problems.

She laughed aloud at some parts, rolled her eyes at parts she found cheesy, and subconscious felt her mood lift. By the time Mr. Nobley and Jane found themselves in the midst of a crappy play, she had begun to really enjoy herself. She found herself drawn in, again, when Nobley looked deeply into Jane’s eyes and surprised himself with his own declaration of love. She sighed and frowned deeply at the screen. By the end of the scene she’d called herself a liar and by the time the main characters had achieved their happy ending she’d felt her heart swoon. Smothering an oath she cursed her own ridiculously romantic heart. Knowing that regardless of how bad the last relationship was, a piece of her would still look for her own Darcy, her own Mr. Nobley, her own happily ever after. Shrugging off the bad mood she sang along with the cast to “Hot in Here” thinking, Who can really stay mad when Keri Russell and JJ Field are singing “Hot in Here” ?


The Hallmark Rant

Ok, so hear my out before you runaway kicking and screaming. I am an avowed Hallmark watcher. I’ve watched their Christmas movies every year since I can remember. In a weird way, they’ve become like family. The occasionally cheesy storytelling,  the predictable endings, and the even predictable mix-up that messes everything up.

I was watching a movie Saturday night -because what else would I do on a Saturday night- and the movie was going great! I mean fabulous dialogue, non-cheesy romance, I mean we were really getting somewhere! Then it happened. The main female character is a single mother. Both of them in someway work as wedding planners and they went to a wedding together. While they were heading back to catch her son’s game they got a flat. They have this really sweet moment in a giant greenhouse and make back just as the game ended.

You can imagine what happens next. She freaks out and pulls away from the guy. The wedding their planning of course is a smashing success and he tries again to make a heartfelt plea, hoping to win her over. She gets teary-eyed and using her child as an excuse to escape. In the end his aunt gives him another push to go get her, not let her get away. He takes her up on the advice and also hints that there might be a possible engagement.

Now, part of me loves the ending. He knows what he wants and goes for it. This is possibly my issue. It’s, quite possibly, every woman’s dream. She may somehow be confused and in that confusion does the complete opposite of what she really wants. Despite this, the man makes another overture and they live happily ever-after. What Hallmark has going for them is that they don’t remove the conflict making it slightly more realistic. They do, however, setup something that’s not very realistic with the whole man constantly pursuing thing. Its been my experience that, that doesn’t always happen. Sometimes the guy doesn’t comeback. Sometimes you really do miss that go round.

As women  I’ll speak for myself. Sometimes I want to be chased, it can be strangely thrilling to be the subject of someones interest. At the same time, I don’t think men always want to be cats chasing a laser they’ll never catch. Sometimes ladies we have to know what we want and not get distracted like some of the lovely characters in our favorite Hallmark movie. Just my two cents. 😉